2013…New Chapter

2013.

I can’t believe it. Seems like a big part of me wants to relive 2012. What a life-changing year.

I Made It CD project – released in March…
Three concerts with my husband, Chuck Limbrick “Mystro”…
Said goodbye to our eight year old golden retriever Bo…
Got married…with all our family/friends all around…
Knee surgery…
Waldo Canyon Fire…
Beauty for Ashes Project launched…
Resigned as Worship Arts Director after 15 years…
Awakening Artists trip to England to be with Christian Artists Together and Mission:Worship..
Thanksgiving in Washington…
Scars & Straw Production…
Christmas Eve Services at Woodmen Valley…over 12,000 in attendance…
First Christmas with our family in Missouri…
Stepped into full time status with Awakening Artists…

All these powerful moments…in the midst of bills, laundry and life.

It was a year. And one I’ll never forget.

I now find myself in the first few days of 2013 wondering where I am. Everything feels suspended. There’s a longing to stay in the familiar yet an yearning to move forward. If I’m honest there have been moments these past few days where the fear of a world that I’ve not been a part of for so long will not welcome me. Can I find my place in its bigness? Where I come from has been safe…familiar for the past 15 years. It’s a place that I am known. A place where I have discovered who I am and what the heck I’m doing in this world. So…one would think that the truth of who I am would be enough to walk into this new year confident, bold and courageous. But it’s not.

I can’t do this.

At least not on my own.

My mind recalls the significant moments of 2012 when I knew one chapter was coming to a close and another was about to open. Those moments were full of truth. The same truths that I still stand on today. And there are no regrets. Right now it’s just all the unknown from day to day. Unknowns which could lead me down various rabbit trials and in the end…accomplish nothing. I must be careful to steward my “yes”. In my devotions I am reminded that He leads us not just day by day but moment by moment…if we let Him. In the scriptures I’m encouraged to seek wisdom. So wisdom I will seek. And I will let Him lead.

I ask myself the question “what am I learning today?” And my answer on this particular day would be I need structure. Yup…an artist who needs structure. While the much needed rest is good and it feels wonderful to breath, I must admit too many hours of “what do I do today?” can drive one mad. So I will take care of me…health, mind and heart.

The second thing I’m learning is that the voice which is causing me to self-doubt must be silenced and for every lie that fights to become truth, I have to counter that lie with what I already know to be truth.

Today I can’t even imagine what the end of this year will look like. But in a moment of believing I am exactly where I’m suppose to be, my heart of obedience is determined to take one step at a time and walk this year day by day.

Two things I pray…that I will love well and God will use me to make a difference in this world. This big, wide wonderful world.

Stars and Flames

After spending a wonderful time with family and friends on Sunday night, we arrived home ready to call it day when the sound of the crickets caught my attention. I stepped out in the darkness looking at the stars above my head and listened to the harmony of song around me. I closed my eyes and uttered “peaceful” in my spirit …the only word that could echo through me describing the moment I was in. After being quiet for a few seconds, my eyes opened in the direction of the Waldo Canyon fire thinking I might be able to still see the outline of smoke where the fire continued to burn out of control. Instead of seeing smoke, my squinted eyes began to make out what looked like to be small flickering red lights. It took my mind only a second to comprehend that what I was actually seeing…miles from where I was standing…was the monstrous, red flames, that were devouring anything that might attempt to stand in its way.

Reality has a way of taking hold of us in the most odd moments.

In the midst of my “peaceful” star filled, cricket singing night, I was seeing flames from a fire threatening to demolish the homes of several dear friends. Flames that had already destroyed the security for all the creatures who called this canyon home. My thoughts roamed from the families who were deciding what earthly possessions held the utter most importance to them as they followed evacuation orders to the men and women literally battling the 100 foot flames trying to protect the surrounding towns and amazing canyon we all love. The question “why didn’t God just send rain?” came on radar. I know He can do it. I know He’s still in the miracle business these days. I’m living in the middle of them. As my thoughts wandered, my heart began to loose the moment of “song” as a sick, sad feeling began to take over my being when I heard the whisper “pay attention”.

Okay…we here go. Another awakening moment for me.

As I fought back the wetness that had suddenly appeared in my eyes, my senses once again became heightened to what was actually surrounding me right where I stood. I was safe and in no danger. Our home and all it’s belongings were intact. Our families all safe and secure. No threat of danger.

The smoke had not yet reached the sky directly above me where the stars kept twinkling against the dark blanket of night. The crickets knew no threat of fire so they continued to sing and fill the night with song. And yet much was in the process of being destroyed just miles away.

Sometimes I just don’t understand this thing called life. Sometimes there are just too many questions and not enough answers.

And yet this one thing I do know…God really is in control. And He’s the only One…the only place that any of us have a chance for peace in the midst of chaos.

The only place where we can see rainbows in the midst of hailstorms.

The only place where one can watch the stars twinkle…high above devastating flames.

I’m not meant to figure out how this whole thing works. I just have to trust in a God who is bigger than all of it and know I must keep listening for the song. Peace in the midst of chaos.

Awakening…Part 1-Lift Off

 

March 3, 2011 I found myself sitting in the small, cramped space of seat 23D on a United flight with my final destination landing in Johannesburg, S. Africa. All ten artists were on board with hearts beating in anticipation of what was coming our way.

I mentally went through the checklist of the seat pocket in front of me. Water. Check. Magazine/journal. Check. A few Skittles for those sugar cravings. Check. I settled back into my seat and glanced out the window when the thought entered my mind that this was it.

The “here” part of my new journey had just arrived. It was now.

As the plane taxied down the runway gaining more and more speed, I was aware that once we lifted from the ground there would be no turning back.

Leaving the old.

Anticipating the new.

Suspended

When we landed all the dreaming, all the planning would be birthed into reality.

God had assigned Awakening Artists to me.
I said yes.
I invited nine other artists to come with me to S. Africa.
They said yes.
All ten left family, jobs and friends.
They in turn said yes to letting us go.

We were leaving on the prayers, the support and the love of hundreds. In our hearts and minds they were traveling with us and we would be accountable to them upon our return. Through our stories, our art and our own personal life-change over the next 11 days, my prayer was that everyone’s eyes would be opened to all God wanted us to see.

The Smile of Africa

 

Friday, March 4 those same wheels touched down on new ground, delivering us safe and sound. During our time there we were loved, we were stretched and we were changed.

During the next few weeks words will find their way from my mind and heart into this blog. You will meet those who God used to change me. To change all of us. 

I invite you along on this journey with me. Should you say yes I pray you’ll be changed as well.

Awakening

Nothing annoys me more than when my alarm clocks goes off every morning. I’m one of those people who sets the alarm to sound off early so I can smash the snooze button about three times all the while talking my eyelids into opening. I long to stay in my warm bed while my mind rests in its happy place. However the loud buzz reminds me as much as I hate it that it’s time to wake up.

Last year while on a phone call with friends in S. Africa and unbeknownst to me God had set His own alarm clock and on February 22, 2010 it went off as a God-breathed vision floated down and settled into my spirit called Awakening Artists. At last…the dream of what was next had finally made itself known. The alarm had gone off.

It was  big (as if it would be anything but…)

It was loud.

And it was intended to wake up…the artists.

Two days from now nine artist friends will board a plane to S. Africa. This trip…this new thing He is doing…will be a first for me and for them. We are going out of obedience. We are responding to His call. Smashing the snooze is no longer an option. Why? Because He is looking for artists who will open their eyes and allow their hearts to wake up and create from both beauty of this world and the brokenness.

There is art to be created.
Stories to be told.
The artist must become the voice for those with no voice.
Young and old.
Rich and poor.
All races.
All nations.

God’s alarm now sounds for artists to live their lives with
intentional creativity,
community,
and compassion.

For the artist awakening becomes a verb.

I still smash the snooze button almost every morning but I wake with my thoughts are already in wonder. Wonder of what He’s up to in this day that awaits me.

Artist…awake.